two lungs

thinking of you heaps mum, the space between your two lungs that gave way, your heart, i understand a bit more of your journey and it pains me.. you are seen and held now by Love itself.x

missing you more than ever

family is clinging together with the fragments. im falling apart as usual i dont have the strength to pick myself up stuck in the undertow all my life you have been my bouncing board remind me of my own logic my own strength and that i was never alone on the journey you were always a phone call away you understood me, my emotional being. you kept the walls from caving in you held them up and said 'No, she will make it.'

bitter sweet rose

mum, i see you in the gardens you always loved, my love for flowers came from seeing your excitment and intrigue in them, i miss the fact i wont be able to see you again, flowers dont hold the same joy for me anymore.

miss our talks

bits of things you've said to me over my life
still resonate clear in my heart

your truth
your wisdom and love
your belief in me
your positive slant on life

i have that affirmation inbuilt, thanks to you..

but some days
i want to just hear your voice tell me those things
to hug you
and let go.

i wonder if you miss me?
up there
in heavens glory

its the 'gone' feeling
thats so strange
your gone.

gone from sight
gone from touch
gone from conversation.

a year without mum

lots of questions for Dad
All he did, he did for and with mum

we miss u mum
all in our own way

silence

miss you mum
the silence when i look for you

you still make up the layers of my heart
you, God, life, dad, friends, children, siblings...
Its all love.
yet my mothers love is strangely fading in a shell,
the shape you left in me.

dont go,
yet
you have gone

gaze

We forget that the only sin of which we have to repent is looking away from God’s Gaze, for this Gaze is our equipoise of conversion. In that illumination we cannot but realise that all of us sin all the time. Only Jesus the Christ was able to gaze with the totality of being, for Jesus was God gazing at God out of our humanity. It is in us that the Christ gazes at the Father through the eyes of our heart...

No one but Christ can mediate for us, and Christ’s mediation is not between us and the Father but within us looking on the Father, writing the Name I WILL BE on our hearts in our solitude from which community is born. Each of us has the task of mediating in community the Love that bridges the abyss of our falling from being.

- Maggie Ross ‘Pillars of Flame’